), and licking lollipop are the mature way of referring to oral sex for men (I’m being sarcastic if you haven’t noticed).

Why use such obvious metaphors? Simple, not all grown ups, are grown up. Sometimes adults will do some of the most scandalous acts, as long as they can pretend, even for a little while, that it is not what it is.

This is so we don’t feel like we’re being freaky, while we’re being freaky. Trust me, we get into the Freak Factor soon.

Origins:

So how did the first guy ever get up the nerve to ask a female to take his penis into her mouth? According to my research (Yes, I actually fact check my articles.) he didn’t.

The first ever-recorded act of fellatio was invented, performed, and perfected by a female. I can honestly say she was a female with super natural talents. In fact, she was the Egyptian goddess, Isis.

According to most historians, the story goes like this:

Seth (Set), the Egyptian god of chaos, kills his brother Osiris (Assur), the god of the dead and resurrections (Yeah, I get the joke too.), and cuts him up into bits and pieces, then scatters them all over Egypt.

Isis (Aset), goddess of protection and sister/wife of Osiris locates all the pieces but one (bet you can see where this is going). She searches really hard for the divine member. When she can’t find it, Isis takes a piece of granite (Some historians say clay, most say it was granite, now you know the origins of “hard as rock”.) and fashions a phallus from it.

After putting all the pieces together in the right order, Isis blew into the phallus and brought Osiris back to life (Sweetie, I couldn’t possibly make this up.).

Needless to say, Osiris was a very happy god.

The story of Isis and Osiris is literally legendary. Its hieroglyphic depiction appears in artifacts, temples, tombs, pyramids, tapestries, and so much more. Even today, the “Story of Osiris & Isis” is still revered in many Middle Eastern cultures.

Now that I’ve touched on the “How It Began”, my next article will address one of the five base reasons men get so excited if you swallow - Four Sense Stimulation (FSS).